The Dark Side of Positive Thinking: How Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing Can Hold You Back
In a world that seems increasingly stressful and chaotic, it's no wonder that many of us turn to positivity as a coping mechanism. From inspirational quotes on social media to self-help books promising a brighter future, the message is clear: think positively, and everything will be okay. But what if the obsession with positivity is actually doing more harm than good? Enter toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing, two insidious ways of thinking that can hold us back from true personal growth and healing. In this post, we'll explore what toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing are, why they're so pervasive in our culture, and how we can break free from their grip.
As Whitney Goodman notes in her book "Toxic Positivity", our culture is obsessed with positivity. We're told to "look on the bright side" and "focus on the good" in almost every situation, from personal setbacks to global crises. While positivity can be a helpful mindset in many situations, it can also be taken too far. In this post, we'll take a closer look at what dark side of positivity and spiritual bypassing, why they’re harmful, and how we can shift our mindset to one that is more authentic and grounded.
What is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is the belief that one should only feel and express positive emotions, and that anything less is a sign of weakness or failure. It's easy to fall into the trap of toxic positivity, especially when we're bombarded with messages of positivity and optimism in every aspect of our lives. But the reality is that sometimes life is hard, and it's okay to feel negative emotions. In fact, it's healthy and necessary to process and acknowledge our difficult experiences.
What is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing is the use of spiritual practices or beliefs to avoid dealing with uncomfortable emotions or issues. It can show up as the belief that "everything happens for a reason" or "I'll just meditate my problems away". While spiritual practices can be helpful tools for personal growth, spiritual bypassing can be harmful if it leads someone to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or facing important issues. Spirit
The Intersection of Toxic Positivity and Spiritual Bypassing
Toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing are two sides of the same coin. Both involve avoiding or denying difficult emotions and experiences in favor of a more positive outlook. When we're told to only focus on the positive and ignore the negative, we're more likely to use spiritual beliefs as a way to bypass difficult emotions and experiences. This can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding for ourselves and others, as well as a lack of personal growth and meaningful change.
Toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing can hold you back in several ways:
Denial of Authentic Emotions: When you engage in toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing, you deny yourself the opportunity to acknowledge and process your authentic emotions. By constantly pushing away negative feelings and only focusing on the positive, you suppress and ignore important aspects of your inner experience. This can prevent you from fully understanding yourself, addressing unresolved issues, and finding genuine healing and growth.
Lack of Emotional Resilience: By avoiding or bypassing difficult emotions, you hinder your emotional resilience. True resilience involves facing and navigating challenging emotions, allowing yourself to learn and grow from them. Toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing create a false sense of invulnerability that prevents you from developing the necessary emotional tools to effectively cope with life's inevitable hardships.
Suppression of Healing Opportunities: Difficult emotions and experiences often contain valuable lessons and opportunities for personal growth. When you engage in toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing, you inadvertently suppress these opportunities. Instead of confronting and learning from your challenges, you remain stuck in a cycle of superficial positivity, inhibiting your capacity for deep self-reflection and transformation.
Strained Relationships: Toxic positivity can strain your relationships. When you dismiss or invalidate the emotions of others by insisting on constant positivity, you fail to provide the support and empathy they may need. Genuine connections are built on understanding, acceptance, and the ability to hold space for both positive and negative experiences. By practicing toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing, you may unintentionally alienate those around you, leading to strained relationships and a lack of meaningful connection.
Lack of Personal Growth: Growth often emerges from facing and navigating challenges, including uncomfortable emotions and experiences. Toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing stifle this growth by discouraging self-reflection, introspection, and the necessary work to address deeper issues. By avoiding the uncomfortable, you miss out on the opportunity to learn, evolve, and develop a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Recognizing the limitations of toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing is the first step toward breaking free from their hold. By embracing a more balanced approach that allows for the full range of emotions and experiences, you open yourself up to genuine healing, personal growth, and the development of deeper connections with yourself and others.
Inner Exploration and Soul Embodiment
To combat toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing, it's important to engage in inner exploration and soul embodiment. This means being authentic and connected to your own emotions, as well as having empathy and understanding for others. By exploring our own emotions and experiences, we can learn to sit with discomfort and process difficult emotions in a healthy way. This can help us to develop greater empathy and understanding for others, as well as a deeper sense of personal growth and meaning.
Here are a few journal prompts to help you check in and see if you're engaging in toxic positivity or spiritual bypassing:
How do I respond when someone shares a difficult experience with me? Do I try to "fix" the problem or offer solutions, or do I simply listen and validate their emotions?
What phrases or beliefs do I use to try and avoid uncomfortable emotions or situations? Am I using spiritual beliefs to avoid dealing with important issues in my life?
Do I find it difficult to sit with negative emotions or uncomfortable situations? What could I do to help myself feel more comfortable with these experiences?
By embodying our own emotions and experiences, we can develop greater empathy and understanding for ourselves and others, as well as a deeper sense of personal growth and meaning.
Ashli Kunzler
Remember that it's okay to feel difficult emotions and to acknowledge the negative experiences in your life. Only by facing these experiences can we truly grow and heal. By shifting our mindset from one of toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing to one of inner exploration and soul embodiment, we can develop a more authentic and grounded approach to our emotions and experiences.
If you're ready to embark on this transformative journey of self-discovery and embrace the full spectrum of human experience, learn more about our upcoming Inner Exploration and Soul Embodiment group program. Be the first to know when enrollment opens and secure your spot on the waitlist. Together, we'll navigate the complexities of emotions and cultivate authenticity in our lives.
For those seeking more personalized guidance, I also offer 1:1 sessions where we can work together to address your specific needs and navigate your unique journey towards inner exploration and soul embodiment. Schedule a session with me and receive the support and tools you need to break free from toxic patterns and embrace a more authentic way of living.
So next time you feel the urge to bypass or ignore a difficult emotion, try to sit with it instead. You may be surprised at what you discover about yourself and the world around you. Embrace the power of inner exploration and soul embodiment, and unlock the doors to true growth and healing.
