Letting Go vs. Using your Voice
Many of us find ourselves caught in the delicate dance between letting go and speaking up in our relationships. It’s not always easy to know when to release control and trust the flow of life, and when to stand up and voice our needs. It’s a balancing act we all face, and I want to explore it with you today.
Letting go isn't about giving up or suppressing our needs. It’s about loosening our grip on how we believe things should be and allowing life to unfold naturally. When we let go, we create space for trust—in ourselves, in others, and in the universe. It’s about recognizing that the urge to control often stems from deeper needs for safety, connection, or belonging.
However, while it’s natural to want to influence our surroundings to meet these needs, true peace comes from knowing that our needs are valid, independent of any specific outcome. This is where Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can become a powerful tool in balancing the act of letting go with speaking up.
What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?
Developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, NVC is a communication method that fosters empathy, understanding, and genuine connection. At its core, NVC helps us express ourselves authentically and listen to others with empathy, bridging the gap between letting go and using our voice.
The NVC process involves four key components:
Observation: Describing what you observe without attaching judgment or evaluation.
Feelings: Expressing how you feel in response to what you observe.
Needs: Identifying the universal needs that underlie your feelings.
Requests: Making specific, actionable requests to meet your needs without imposing demands.
By using NVC, we learn to express our needs without blame or criticism, allowing us to let go of the need to control while still standing in our truth.
Balancing Letting Go and Speaking Up
So, how do we find this balance? It starts with understanding that both letting go and speaking up are necessary for healthy relationships. Letting go is about trusting the process and releasing the desire to control others. Speaking up, on the other hand, is about honoring our needs and expressing them clearly and compassionately.
Both are vital skills that, when practiced together, lead to deeper connections and more authentic relationships.
Book Recommendations for Your Journey
If you’re looking to dive deeper into this journey of finding your balance, here are some great reads that might help:
“Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender” by Dr. David R. Hawkins: A transformative book that explores the concept of letting go from a spiritual and psychological perspective, offering practical steps to release negative emotions and embrace inner peace.
“Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg: A foundational book on communicating with empathy and understanding, focusing on expressing needs without blame or criticism.
“The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships” by Harriet Lerner: This book explores the dynamics of anger and assertiveness in relationships, offering practical advice for women who want to express their needs without becoming aggressive.
“Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brené Brown: This book explores how vulnerability can lead to deeper, more meaningful relationships and how courageously expressing our needs is part of that journey.
“Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Al Switzler, Joseph Grenny, and Ron McMillan: This book provides strategies for holding important, difficult conversations in a way that fosters understanding and resolution.
Join Our Free Soul Embodiment Community
If you’re feeling called to explore these concepts more deeply, I invite you to join our free Soul Embodiment Community. Every week, I share self-care nudges and practices to support you on your journey of balancing letting go and speaking up, among other aspects of personal growth and healing. Together, we can explore these practices with compassion, laughter, and a whole lot of heart.
Lastly, please be gentle with yourself. We all have moments where we overstep, where we stay quiet when we should speak up, or where we speak out when a little silence would have served us better. This is part of being human, part of the messy, beautiful journey we’re all on.
Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Trust that you are learning exactly what you need to learn, at exactly the right pace. And know that letting go and using your voice are not opposites—they are partners in the dance of life.
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